Positive parenting is focused on developing a strong, deeply committed relationship between parent and child based on communication and mutual respect. Positive Parenting focuses on teaching children not just what but also why. Positive parenting means training children toward self-control.

There are three major components to positive parenting:

• Rules and consequences are laid out, discussed often, and followed through.
• Parents focus on helping children internalize discipline, rather than obey orders based on fear of punishment, in order to develop self-discipline.
• Parents use active listening to understand children’s thoughts. This allows parents to correct misunderstandings or mistaken links of logic.

Positive Parenting Defined: End Goal

So, how does one apply this example to using positive parenting in everyday life? We begin by changing the focus. We keep in mind the goal: to help children develop the tools they need to become healthy, thoughtful, and authentic adults.

Positive parenting begins with parents as adults: parents who serve as living examples to their children. Positive parenting means sharing your thoughts and beliefs with your children. Once you decide to practice positive parenting, there are four things you can do to foster your efforts:

1. Be consistent
2. Create a nurturing environment
3. Learn about child development
4. Remember your end goal as a parent is to raise a fully-functioning adult

Positive Parenting Defined: Create a Nurturing Environment

Creating a nurturing environment begins with meeting a child’s basic needs for food, clothing, and shelter. Nurturing, however, goes beyond physical needs and extends to offering acceptance, love, encouragement, and true discipline.

Acceptance—children need to feel valued for who they are. It is the concept of: No matter what I do, whether right or wrong, I am loved.

Love—love is giving of yourself to someone you care about. Parental love is acted out by giving time, care, and undivided attention to a child in every facet of his life. Parents show love by helping children positively overcome every social conflict.

Encouragement—is being supportive in concrete ways that help children avoid or correct mistakes. Encouragement includes helping children figure out what they’re good at and encouraging them to pursue passions.

True Discipline—is using parenting tools to teach children self-control. Self-control is the ability to control one’s actions no matter what.

Positive Parenting Defined: Effective Discipline

Discipline is a teaching process and teaching only happens when adults are calm and thinking clearly. Never try to apply discipline if you are not fully in control of your mind, body, and emotions. Here are four steps to effective discipline:

1. Ensure children know the rules and the possible consequences of breaking them.
2. Help children figure out how to make decisions that help them maintain rules while doing some of the things they enjoy.
3. Apply consequences as needed. Always review rules and reinforce expectations before applying
4. Re-establish the relationship by doing a relationship-building activity. Take a walk together. Go for ice cream. Read a book.